Let’s just cut straight to the chase – you are probably reading this because you want to learn how to broach the subject without hurting your chances of getting lucky. It’s okay – you can admit that, at least to yourself. The truth is that CPAP doesn’t really fit in to our cultural picture of modern romance: dinner, awkward small talk, roses, candlelight, wine, a snooty hostess at a nice restaurant, dinner specials you can’t pronounce, and then – cross your fingers – bed. Where do you fit in the part where you strap on your CPAP mask and then in a muffled, barely audible voice say, “Was it good for you?” Here are a few ways that you can talk about CPAP to your new partner without them wondering if you are some kind of freak.
1. Bring It Up When The Time Is Right
The first thing you need to know about dating and CPAP is that you don’t need to tell your special someone about your CPAP treatment right away. It is not like you are harboring some deep dark secret or anything. Plus, sleep apnea is a medical condition. How many people have blurted out all their medical conditions on the first date? I’ve got irritable bowel syndrome! So, let your best assets shine first – your smile, your hilarious sense of humor, your amazing ability to name every single president backwards (be careful with this one), your sense of fun and adventure. Only when you make it to the bedroom should you mention your CPAP therapy, because at that point the setting will be intimate enough to finally introduce the subject.
2. Make A Funny Quip About It
Right now is a really good time to think of a few funny quips to use when you finally have to strap on your CPAP mask. Having something funny to say will diffuse the awkwardness – if there is any. There is a good chance that CPAP is a big part of your life, and you probably already have a few jokes mulling around. Making light of the whole situation can make everything a lot less serious and easier to deal with. In the end, you’ll probably laugh about it over breakfast anyways.
3. Broach the Subject Quickly and Make A Great First Impression
Not telling your date about your CPAP treatment until you roll over and go to sleep is fine – provided that you do so with style and grace. For instance, if you pulled off an amazing feat of prowess in bed, you could explain to your partner that your CPAP treatment is essential to your performance – this is both lighthearted and honest; CPAP has been clinically proven to enhance performance in bed. Not only that, but saying this – or something equally as cool and badass – will give your CPAP mask a great first impression. You can further that first impression that you just made by having your SoClean 2 nearby – after all it cleans 99.9% of germs and bacteria. Let your partner know that you’re not only a champ between the sheets but that you are a champ of high caliber, in which your hygiene reigns supreme.
Your partner will surely be awe-struck and will believe that you are the next cleanest thing to Mr. Clean himself… And he’s So Clean!
4. What To Do If Your CPAP Breaks In The Middle of the Night
This can be one of those worst-case scenarios that can really put a damper on a sleep over date. Right when you think everything is going peachy keen, you wake up and realize that your CPAP machine has kicked the bucket. Well, instead of pretending that everything is fine, you should slyly get on the phone or access the Internet via your phone and purchase the CPAP RX Package from Easy Breathe, which can get you a new CPAP prescription in less than twenty-four hours. When it comes to CPAP therapy and dating, there is one thing you need to keep in mind: always be prepared.
In the end, you are probably making it a bigger deal than it has to be. Indeed, romance and CPAP therapy go together like orange juice and toothpaste, but if you are honest, confident and don’t take it too seriously, it will probably be no big deal at all. When it comes down to it, honesty is always the best policy. The last thing you want is to hide the fact that you have sleep apnea and disrupt your CPAP treatment. Who knows, maybe after a few dates you’ll be incorporating your CPAP mask into some kind of kinky ritual you probably don’t want to tell anyone about.